So I went back to the gunfight scene, and struck out everything from the lead in to Scott getting knocked out. It’s 3,900 words, and I need to replace it with something of equal or greater length. I started to write a more high-tension lead-in, but I have a ways to go.
Problem 1: I don’t know what the scene’s going to be.
Problem 2: This is the climax of the book.
Now, the climax carries into the LHX scene, which I can leave. That and a few other details post-‘gunfight’ will need continuity editing, but the core of the events can stay. Looking over it, and how everything goes, I know a few things about the long scene I’m going to need to write:
- Scott and Grace will flee, somewhere.
- Melissa will find them before the SUTs do.
- Melissa-Scott speech from previous scene will be reconstructed.
- SUTs will find them, someone will be hurt, probably not seriously.
- Scott will snap. Scott will kill someone, this time in cold blood.
- Scott will have a breakdown, Scott will run.
- Either a) Scott will pass out for some reason, or b) Scott will get into a poorly advised fistfight and get knocked the fuck out.
And then we can enter into the stuff that’s already been written. Ah. I got it. Scott and Grace are going to go to Melissa’s apartment, where Melissa is. Bingo.
Though, I have a thought. The ending monologue seems really contrived, and I can’t think of a good way to really end with it. But I have another idea. It could be very dramatic to have the book end with a single cold-blooded murder, if the buildup to it occurring is properly executed. I may have to go back and massage the warehouse scene yet again, but it may be worth it. And increasing the ‘on-the-run’ time here will moderately increase the length.
Oy. This is a big change, and between 7-10,000 more words of writing. But I think it will be an overall improvement.